Желаете узнать, какими будут ваши последующие отношения, посмотрите на своего «экса». Шансы велики, что ваш новый избранник или избранница будут иметь схожие черты личности. Но так ли это уж плохо?

«Он просто не мой тип».

Каждый из нас слышал эти слова от близкой подруги или героини ромкома. Но несмотря на распространенность этого выражения, вряд ли кто-то выяснял, существует ли вообще «мой тип».

Последние исследования свидетельствуют, что мы действительно отдаем предпочтение определенным социальным и физическим характеристикам потенциальных партнеров, как образование, разница в возрасте, цвет волос и рост.

Но ищем мы также определенный тип личности, до последнего времени было неизвестно.

Недавно группа исследователей взялась наконец за этот вопрос. И вот, что они выяснили. Если вы не уверены, кто именно является «ваш тип», просто посмотрите в зеркало.

Исследователи из Германии изучили анкеты 12 тысяч участников психологических тестов, в которых оценивались особенности личности за «большой пятеркой» (открытость к опыту, добросовестность, экстраверсия, доброжелательность и нейротизм).

В течение девяти лет ученые отслеживали состояние отношений этих людей, которые также должны были убедить своих партнеров заполнить такую же анкету с определения черт личности.

В заключение в исследовании осталось 332 участники, которые за это время по крайней мере дважды были в романтических отношениях и оба партнеры которые также согласились принять участие в опросе.

Хотя это — очень резкое уменьшение количества участников, для объективности выводов их вполне достаточно, заверили ученые.

Отношения с кем-то, кто отличается от нашего обычного «типа», позволяют по-новому увидеть мир

Результаты наблюдений показали, что нынешние партнеры участников исследования имели схожий тип личности с их предыдущими любовниками.

Поэтому, хотя люди и склонны верить, что их предпочтения со временем меняются, оказывается, что определенный «тип», которому мы отдаем предпочтение, у нас таки есть.

Нравится вам это или нет, но ваш новый партнер, скорее всего, будет более похожим на вашего «экса», чем вам хотелось бы.

Но ваш тип также будет близким и к вашей собственной личности, как показало исследование.

В большинстве случаев участники исследования изменили только двух партнеров в течение периода наблюдения. Но в 29 опрашиваемых — партнеров, которые согласились принять участие, было больше.

Впрочем, и в этой группе участников результаты подтвердили общую тенденцию.

Тот факт, что мы ищем в наших партнерах немного себя, объясняет, почему наша личность остается достаточно устойчивой в отношениях с друзьями и любовниками.

Гораздо проще искать отношения, которые не меняют нашего представления о том, кем мы являемся.

За исключением, пожалуй, экстравертов, которым позарез нужны новые впечатления.

Участники, которые имели высокие оценки по показателям открытость опыту и экстраверсия, мало когда выбирали партнеров, похожих на их бывших или них самих.

Таким образом, если мы готовы выйти за пределы известного, романтические отношения предлагают нам великолепную возможность открыть новые способы видения мира.

Люди, с которыми мы предпочитаем проводить большую часть своего времени, как правило, более похожи на нас, чем мы осознаем Getty Images

Интересно, что это исследование может иметь потенциал для онлайн-знакомств.

Если раньше ученые отрицали возможность предсказать личность будущего партнера, теперь это выглядит вполне реальным.

Так же, как музыкальные стрімінгові сервисы предлагают новых исполнителей, основываясь на плейлистах пользователей, так и дейтингові платформы будут помогать нам находить новую пассию, проанализировав нашу предыдущую историю отношений.

С другой стороны, учитывая относительно короткий период исследования, трудно сказать, продлятся ли эти отношения долго.

Ведь слишком большая схожесть партнеров может препятствовать их личностному развитию.

Если ваш муж или жена начинают впоследствии выявлять черты вашего бывшего партнера, это может чрезвычайно раздражать. Такое сходство также вызовет тревогу и безнадежность.

С другой стороны, когда поведение нового любовника напоминает вашего бывшего, это облегчает сближение с новым партнером и установления позитивных моделей взаимодействия.

Поэтому не спешит объяснять высокую статистику разводов тем, что люди вновь и вновь ищут себе подобных.

Конечно, такие исследования не способны однозначно прояснить, как именно мы выбираем своего соулмейта.

Много различных факторов влияет на то, в кого мы закохуємось.

Однако не стоит удивляться, если следующая смена статуса ваших отношений станет лишь очередным возвращением до вашего статус-кво.

Прочитать оригинал этой статьи на английском языке можно на сайте BBC Future.

Хотите поделиться с нами своими жизненными историями? Напишите о себе на адрес questions.ukrainian@bbc.co.uk и наши журналисты с вами свяжутся.

Хотите получать главное в мессенджер? Подписывайтесь на наш Telegram или Viber!

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